hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
