He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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