You can't motorboat a personality
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
