Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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