HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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