My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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