how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
