Ambien. No doubt about it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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