i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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