dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
