Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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