So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
