well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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