Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
