we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
