It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
