Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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