just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
