So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
