idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
