He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
