Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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