I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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