Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
