You're completely useless in the revolution.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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