Im at strip club and am horny
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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