it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
