This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
