If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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