at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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