so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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