so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
