I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
