i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
