i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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