is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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