He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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