I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
