Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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