How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
