I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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