whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
