my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
