I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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