He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
