Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
