I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's never too late to be topless.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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