he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
