I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
