Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
